Broken Trust
Last week was a very bad week for me. The phone rang and on the other end was one of my best pastor friends. “Did you hear about Robert*?” he said, “He’s in jail for having inappropriate relationships with under-aged females in his congregation.” I was both shocked and grieved that a friend of mine who led such a thriving church was wiped out of ministry.
My friend also warned me that an article was going to be appearing in the papers about another minister friend of ours. I didn’t have to open the newspaper for it was the featured article on the front page. The headline screamed, “Teen reveals shocking tale of minister’s sex abuse: Church allegedly knew of charges for two years”. My heart goes out to my friends Robert* and Larry. Any one of us is susceptible to “blowing it” when it comes to the integrity of our ministries.
But my heart goes out even further for the destruction and devastation their sinful and selfish actions can do in the lives of those they’ve hurt. Not only were their victims hurt, but also my friends’ wives, children, congregations, communities, and the cause of Christ. Proverbs 18:14 states, “A man’s spirit can endure sickness, but who can survive a broken spirit?” (Holman’s Christian Standard Bible). All of these people trusted my friends with the very intimate cores of their lives, only to have that trust–and their spirits–broken.
The very word “minister” indicates that we are called to be used by God as healers of broken people. Sexual abuse and molestation break the spirits of individuals. They violate the trust people place in us as men and women of God.
My prayer is that all who have been hurt, both victims and perpetrators, will find all the healing they need to accomplish their God-given purposes. I’ve always told my congregation to pray for me because I hold the only job that disqualifies an individual when there is moral failure. By the grace of God, I pray that I will never violate the trust of those whom God entrusts to my care. Although this may be an uncomfortable subject, I still invite your thoughts.
* Name changed.
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Thank you for that, sometimes when in leadership the one thing that both followers and leadership forget is that the leader is capable of falling unless they keep their focus and realize that they too are human, it helps to be reminded that Christ is the only unfallible one
Yes, this can be an uncomfortable topic, however one that I think is important to talk about. Trust on any level that is broken can be traumatic for many people however this kind of broken trust can indeed destroy the trust someone has with people in Authority for the rest of their lives.. and for some, lose trust in GOD so I pray that all the victims and families who have been hurt by this will TRUST in GOD and let him give them the comfort, hope and love that they need during this difficult time. Only God can do this for them.
Coming from a Catholic Background and leaving the Catholic church after hearing about all that has gone on there my only thought is this……. Trust is the key to ALL relationships ….once broken it is very difficult to regain again if at all possible, without trust we have nothing. And lastly.. be a trustworthy person yourself so you never do anything to lose others trust in you.
hello bishop, In god we trust,I guess is the only trust in which one could sleep easy at night without woorring about.Trust in our fellow man/woman is a totally different ball of wax and im not sure if what god has instilled in us,doubt anger,sespition,and other fellings when our trust is broken do we ever believe again in that person,or persons we trusted and yes we can pray for change in feelings but down to the core do we or do we say in the backs of our minds do people ever change,I think risk is the key mounted with faith do we ever begin to see trust in a godly light.continue to pray and read scriptures to find the way out.